ARCO---a dying town and "confession" time

Since I am now a stay at home mom (which I LOVE and wouldn't change) I yearn for some "me" time and/or adult conversation.  Poor Devin, when he gets home the kids attack him and want all the attention but I too want to talk to him without the kids.  I didn't know how much I enjoyed the social aspect of working until I'm home with kids 24/7.  I've taken on a new endeavor which gets me out of the house for a little bit, by myself.  I've become a mystery shopper.  Primarily it is for fast food restaurants, but I can also choose to shop cell phone stores, hardware and sporting good stores, gas stations, and retail shops.  I've told Devin that I'm going to get really fat because I am eating so much food-but it's fun.  I get fully reimbursed for any food and/or product I purchase as well as they pay me for every shop I complete.  Most of them are $7.50 but some have been going as high as $25.00.  That is pretty good since most take me 20  minutes to an hour to complete.  I'm now considering becoming a mystery shopper/merchandiser for theatres but the time commitment might be too much for me right now. 

In the last couple of weeks I've traveled to Arco on two different occasions-one for a birthday party for my nieces and another time for a  party for my grandmother.  Every time I go out to Arco I think about growing up there and the closeness you have in a small community.  I miss that and I would love my children to experience that.  BUT---Arco is a town that is slowly dying.  We stopped by the Arco Service (a gas station) at 9:10pm on a Saturday night and I was saddened by the lack of excitement.  When I was in high school this was one of the "hot" spots of Arco, especially on a Saturday night.  They usually had 2 people working behind the counter and another person cooking the pizzas;  the parking lot was always full and you had to wait to pay for your purchase,  Not this day-I was the ONLY one in the shop besides the 1 employee and the parking lot resembled a ghost town.  The entire town looks like a ghost town and shuts down by 8pm.  It is just sad. 

I have noticed that every time I travel to Arco and drive thru Blackfoot I end up having a slight episode of nervousness and anger.  Writing this now-my heart is beating faster and I'm getting a lump in my throat.  It gets so bad that I may even consider not driving thru Blackfoot and taking the longer route thru Idaho Falls.  YEARS ago --probably close to 25---we went to a 4th of  July party at a house of one of my dads co-workers.  I don't remember his name and don't care to remember his name; but I remember clearly the location of the home.  Back than children being "abused" wasn't talked about---amongst adults and especially children; but unfortunately things happened.   Over the years I've come to the conclusion that this guy was a sicko and how he made me feel was unacceptable and wrong.  I hope I haven't mentally blocked out details other that what I remember--but it isn't fair that after all of this time, he still haunts me.  Adults that prey on little kids are evil and I pray that when they are judged by God, they get their just punishment.  I've never really talked about this and very few people even know about it; I guess that isn't the case now.  I'm not going to write the details about it because I don't think that would help me--but I felt the need to write about the occurrence.  I've heard "talking" about things that are troubling or haunting you can help you cope and move on.  Maybe this will make the anger go away and when I do drive by, I won't want to drive over, beat him up and burn his home and "pool house".